Thursday, March 11, 2010

I Am A Complete Dork At 2 In The Morning - Consider Yourself Warned

I'm sure you've all seen this video:

Well, that's what happened to me at about 2:30am this morning, but with the added twist that it was completely dark---the power had gone out, the curtains were drawn and there was no light at all. I literally could not see my hand in front of my face. I drew the short straw, and had to go feed the cat so we could get some sleep, but of course there was no flashlight to be found on either nightstand. I knew I had one in my the dining room. That would mean running the gauntlet blind through three rooms to retrieve it.

I felt around with my feet on the floor until I found my I start to get up I realize they're on the wrong feet. Oh well. The first few feet are easy, I just have to keep my hand on the edge of the bed... but with dread, I know that I'll have to let go of this comforting anchor and navigate No Man's Land across the bedroom unassisted to get to the door of the bathroom.

No Man's Land involved waving my arms in front of my face while sweeping the floor ahead with my foot to avoid tumbling over the dreaded Ancient Sleeping Labrador. I was so worried about this happening that I completely overshot my goal, and ended up in the corner of the bedroom. As my flailing arms start hitting the clothes on top of my dresser I realize how far off I am, and because this so surprises me I start to giggle.

Mike can't tell if I'm laughing or crying at this point, and I'm really starting to lose it, so I can't form a coherent answer to his queries. This makes me laugh even more, and then I think how ridiculous I am flailing around, lost in my own bedroom, with a bad case of the giggles, and well, that really DID IT, and I started to snort!

Oh, gosh once the snorting started I just broke out in hysterical, crazy woman laughing (while I'm still making my way through the house with arms waving and feet darting out feeling for obstacles). I am just delirious and having a good old time by now. I'm giggling, snorting, and tripping over random stuff, which of course wakes up the girls...and the dogs...and the rest of the cats, who are all wondering what in the flip is happening.

I finally find my purse, fumble through it, find the flashlight, feed the *bleeping* cat, and make my way back to bed. The girls are fully awake now, as is Mike, and because the girls are afraid of the dark, I have to go find them a flashlight so that they can go back to sleep.

I woke up this morning and was still chuckling a little about what a spectacle I was in the middle of the night, all because of a pestering, hungry cat!


The Boob Nazi said...

That sucks, but I can totally imagine doing the same thing! I ran into my closet door the other night haha.

Arya said...

(giggling hysterically!) Thank you for the great laugh!!

AS Amber said...

HAHA!!! I laughed right out loud when you overshot your goal. Did you walk your trail in the light to see all the obstacles you missed in the dark?

My phone has a light on it. And luckily I sleep with it next to me. If I tried to make it through my house in the dark I'd definitely end up in traction. I have a one year old. There's toys everywhere.

PS Know how to stop that cat from buggin' you? Get rid of it. A ha ha ha!!! I kid!