My Mammy and Pappy

My Mammogram and Pap smear that is.

I was excited today to go get mine. I found out that there is a program where women at a certain income level (that would be me) can get free mammograms and paps. Woo-hoo! Since we don't have insurance, I was long overdue for these important exams and was thrilled to know there was a program to help me out.

The pap was quick and easy, and the doc was female which always helps. She then sent me to the famous "Mammo-Queen" as this lady is known in our town (she rides in a convertible in the annual 4th of July parade sporting a tiara and a sash with Mammo-Queen on it). She's very much a biker chick and is very laid back. She put me at ease immediately with her chatty personality even though her language was sprinkled liberally with curse words. She let me know that she didn't think it was right that I had to wait so long in the waiting room due to the amount of paperwork that has to be processed for this program, and punctuated her points with plenty of F-words. It was just a bit unusual from the normal doctor's visit.

After I got dressed the Mammo-Queen came back and told me that my breasts are lumpy, bumpy, fibrous and are "very busy breasts", so I am not to freak out if I get called back to redo my mammogram. I had to chuckle at the thought of my breasts being very busy. It kind of sounded like they had a life of their own that I was missing out on!

At any rate, thanks to a state program that involves way too much paperwork, and the famous cursing Mammo-Queen I'm good for another year. Hurrah!