Well, since the correctional officer job has been put on "budgetary hold" by our county, and my snack bar job at the lodge ended after Labor Day, I went job hunting and found a job at a print shop I used to work at some 9 years ago (before I got pregnant and focused on raising my second batch of babies).
My former employers were thrilled to have me back and gave me the hours I wanted, working 8-2 while the girls are in school. I'm still also working at the lodge waitressing/bussing/hostessing on Friday and Saturday nights, plus 2 Wednesday nights a month. Then I teach Sunday school at church, teach a belly dance class on Thursday nights, have belly dance rehearsals on Monday nights and I decided I just wasn't quite busy enough, so I'm cleaning out the garage and organizing a yard sale for this weekend. I'm must be out of my mind.
I'm liking my job. I'm very productive. I mean, there's actually a product at the end of my day (well several really). It's very rewarding to look at a pile of signs, or business cards or a banner and say, "I did that, Ta-dah!" (I usually leave the Ta-dah! out though).
It got me thinking, and I began comparing and contrasting my printing job with how I've spent the last three years doing daycare. It's very fulfilling to me to raise my own kids, but at the end of a day of daycare I certainly never felt like, "Look what I did. Ta-dah!" I just felt drained and overwhelmed.
There is certainly not any job more important than caring for children, but you just don't have anything to show for your toils at the end of the day (well for me I had a house that was trashed, but other than that...). No one looks and says, "Wow, that kid is wonderfully well fed, and emotionally satisfied." But they do notice if the child has fallen and gotten a scrape or is in a foul mood.
I'm sure other people feel quite fulfilled caring for other people's children. I just didn't. It wasn't my passion and I think towards the end I was getting kind of depressed being cooped up all day refereeing quarrels, nagging about homework and cleaning up spills. I hope that doesn't make me a horrible person, I just don't think caring for others' children is my life's calling.
At any rate, because of my very hectic schedule, my blogging has kind of been put on the back burner. Even getting 2 brains cells together to produce a coherent post is a challenge. Hence this rambling and rather inarticulate offering. Oh, well, I'll try to do better next time.
6 comments:
Wow! You're crazy. I can't imagine trying to do so many things!!
I totally understand about taking care of other people's kids. It WAS my passion before I had my own. I loved it so much I can't even tell you. Once I had my own, though? I'll just take my own, thanks.
I think if a mother is going to work, it really needs to be something fulfilling, like you mention. Since I don't work, I'm so glad I've gotten into blogging because it really gives me a sense of accomplishment (kind of silly) and helps to be able to communicate with so many other people about so many different things. I just love it. I think it really helps keep me sane.
Good with your juggling! You are crazy, but it sounds like you're up for the challenge!
I wondered what you have been up to, and now I know! That's wonderful that this job is flexible to work around the school schedules.
I'm amazed at your busy week, I don't think I could keep up with you, and we're the same age!
It doesn't make you sound horrible, btw-- it's good that you recognize it and found something that you can enjoy doing.
Missed you! You are so busy, wow! Childminding other people's kids for three years is a huge achievement in my mind, and I can totally understand how it can take so much out of you with very little external reward.
I am glad you look your new printing job.
I mean LIKE your new job ha ha!
I missed you too. ;-) But I totally understand! My blogging has suffered much lately, for various reasons.
I'll say it again - I don't know how you do it, the daycare! I barely have enough patience to handle my own children, let alone be responsible for other people's children. ;-S
I think you're amazing to take on that kind of work.
I know what you mean, too, about not feeling like anything was accomplished at the end of the day, or being able to say 'tah-duh!' I have a lot of days where I absolutely would LOVE to go over the list of accomplishments for the day. But they just aren't those kind of accomplishments, and often the results of the work won't be seen or measured for years to come.
I struggle with that one. I'm kinda results oriented that way. :-S
Hope the job(s) continue to go well!
I am so glad I read this post.
I loved raising my kids and homeschooling them, but, and I feel so guilty saying this, the determination of my success or failure were so long term and so huge (ie. successful or unsuccessful lives), that several times I found myself depressed, guilty if they screwed up and unappreciated. I don't think I would have done it differently, but it was a hard and lonely choice.
There is something about photography that is just the opposite. I can see my results immediately and correct them (or strive to correct them) before too much time has passed.
Plus, there's no chance that my photos will ever be arrested for drunk driving, or flunk out of school or something else horrible that I don't even want to contemplate. heh.
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