Tuesday, September 30, 2008

A Letter To A Teen

Dear Teenager,

I am mean. I admit it. It's not fair. I don't know the whole story. There's a good explanation. And I know it's not what I think.

However, I was once a careless, irresponsible, immortal teenager. I did far worse things than you. I have regrets. I sometimes cringe when I look back on some of my choices. I often wonder how I didn't get hurt...or worse.

I am sincerely trying to do what's best to keep you safe and teach you responsibility. If that means that you don't speak to me for days, and that you resent me, and wish I'd fall off the face of the earth, I'm willing to pay the price, as difficult as that is.

I wish I could always let you do what ever you want and that your life was nothing but one fantastic adventure after another, but that won't teach you about the real world. The real world is harsh. Bosses are harsh, reality is harsh, paying your own bills and buying your own groceries is harsh.

Being entirely responsible for your own well being is tough, and that's when making a good decision vs a poor decision is crucial. You need to learn that now, and not when there's no one around to help you.

You'll look back someday and know how good you had it, back before you were officially a grown up. I know that you long for your freedom and you will have it before you know it. Just remember that I'm being mean for a reason, that I'm being unfair for a reason, and that it will all make sense to you someday.

Love, Mom


Lisa said...

I'm not looking forward to this part. It sounds like you're going through some difficult times, but that you're doing the best you can with it.

I'll remember this letter and try to keep a balance when my kids are older between letting them make and learn from their decisions and helping to keep them from making poor ones. Tricky! (especially because, as you imply, if you give rules, you become the tyrannical mother).

Anonymous said...

I am right there with you, sister! Except my teenagers are a little younger, but the imminent future is lurking and showing it's sometimes ugly face. Thank you for telling it like it is! I hope all goes welll...

Holly said...

Did you write that? Awesome. My 10 year old has enough attitude right now. I am so, NOT, looking forward to his actual teenage years!

Rose said...

I have one on the brink of teenhood, so I can really relate to this! You should frame that and put it in her room :-)

Anonymous said...

These are my thoughts towards my 8-year-old daughter. I'm in for a ride.

Hick said...

You hang in there, kiddo...you are doing the right thing and you are a good...no...great mom. She loves you very much. I know this because she tells me all the time.(And she's very proud of you.)

PS...ask me about my oldest sometime (they are a lot alike.)

Magirk said...

I could have written this letter myself, I mean, if I had a teenager!

Seriously. I wish someone had written that letter to me when I was a teenager.

Good letter.

Hope your teenager understands, or will soon. ;-)