Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Life on Overload

Well, as I start my new job hostessing at the restaurant in the casino, I am overwhelmed by lots of thoughts. This morning I woke up to a tingling on my upper lip which means a cold sore is on it's way, which indicates to me I'm stressing out.

This past week has been crazy what with attending new employee orientation for two days, training all weekend, still showing up for work at my other job, and trying to absorb all that is new and different in my life over the past few days.

Some of my musings:

Getting used to the casino atmosphere is challenging for me. It's like a whole different world inside those doors. The amount of money that people spend "gaming" is incredible, as the employee perks, expansion of the casino, the large estates on the reservation and the crowds testify. Wow. That's about all I can say. Wow.

I'm currently working swing shift, and started stressing out about that last night. Swing shift will mean that during school days I will have to leave for work about a half hour after the kids are home from school and will get home long past their bed time, so in essence I won't see them at all during those days and I will miss our bedtime reading and dinners together. I'm feeling neglectful as a mother just thinking about it.

I know there are a lot of wonderful opportunities available through the casino career wise, and the elusive medical benefits that I've been trying to find through other jobs.

I know this job is a foot in the door and in 6 months time I can transfer to a different department in the casino so it's just a matter of hanging in there for now and making the most of the time that I do have at home. I think "hang in there" is going to be my new mantra.

I'm truly going to miss my other job at the restaurant where I've been bussing/hostessing/waitressing. It is such a wonderful place to work and I feel like everyone there is family. Too bad they can't offer me anything more than 2-3 nights a week or benefits. Sigh...I know I will have to quit working there soon just for practical reasons. I worked double shifts at the casino and there last weekend and will again this weekend but 13 hour work days are not conducive to sanity.

So I guess I'm feeling a bit insecure, a bit overwhelmed, and a bit indecisive. I know it's normal to feel this way and I also know I'll adapt. All I need is time (and some good cold sore medication!)


LisAway said...

That sounds like enough to give ANYONE a cold sore! :)

I wish you the best. I'm glad you got that job and that you can see good things ahead there. I hope you can get settled in and will soon find yourself with a more manageable schedule. Oh, and lots of money and benefits to boot!

Arya said...

((HUGGS)) it can be stressful starting a new job and just thinking about the nights you will miss with your kids will only make you feel more stressed.

I remember how I felt when I worked graveyard shift and my hubby worked days. I never saw hubby and missed out on the wonderful night time rituals and day time ones too because I was sooo tired. The only thing that kept me sane was the little moments I savored with the kids & hubby when we were together.

((HUGGS)) It sounds like after 6 months things should get back to normal. I am sure everything will work themselves out, it will just take some time & adjustment. :)

Rick O'Shay said...

Congratulations you got your job.
Guess I should go try at the cassino.
I don't envy your delima. It's tough out there right now. And sometime you have to rationalize what's best for your family. And as you said after 6 mos. you can apply for something else. At least your foots in the door.
How about the rest of you?