Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Please Read On An Empty Stomach

Puke.

I don't do it well.

Meaning when one of my kids is sick, I just don't handle the throwing up all that well, and as a parent it's just inevitable. Yuck.

Take tonight for example. 12:30am, a crying Nat wakes me up standing next to my bedside telling me she threw up. On further inspection in the bathroom it looks like someone dumped a bucket of it over her. Holy Moly! The only thing to do is just start the shower and put her in, clothes and all. As her clothes get rinsed, I take them off of her.

Then I go to inspect the bed...

~insert the theme from Jaws or Psycho or other creepy movie here~

Not a pretty sight. Let's just say a cute, tented loft bed from IKEA does not make for a hasty retreat to the bathroom. In fact, it really hinders a child from leaving the bed in any kind of quick or expedient fashion.

I just went from one end to the other and rolled all the bedding in a ball and took it to the laundry to deal with later. Holy Cow!

I've actually been pretty lucky as far as pukey kids are concerned and I know it because I've heard some real mothering horror stories.

Probably the worst instance I've had to deal with involved Moo when she was 4 years old and had hair down to her fanny. Two words: Top Ramen. It only took me three go-rounds before I figured out that french braiding that hair out of the way would save me lots of time and trouble. Yeah...I'm quick like that.

Then there's that pukey suspense: will it just be an isolated incidence with this one child or is some evil virus having it's way with the others' digestive systems as well? Do you go back to bed or begin a tactical defense by placing towels and buckets near the sleeping, symptomless children in the household? It's like waiting for the other shoe to drop (and for some reason it likes to drop just as mom's weary head hits the pillow). Sigh...

And I'd just like to know why it always seems to start in the middle of the night. What is it about clean sheets, a quiet house, and an unsuspecting, slumbering mother that brings on illness? Truly one of life's deeper mysteries (and bitter injustices, in my opinion).

So, I'll admit it. I'm a pukey-kid wimp. I'd much rather deal with other icky bodily substances over throw up. I think it's unfair that it usually happens in the middle of the night (and in the middle of a bed), and that it causes undue suffering to all involved (especially those reading a blog post written by a bleary-eyed, sleep deprived mom on vomit watch in the wee hours of the a.m.)

Here's hoping my little Nat is better soon and not contagious!

3 comments:

Momza said...

Oh yuck.
Been there done that.
I sure hope your Nat will wake up and feel just fine today!
(crossing fingers!)

What a great Mom you are! Hang in there!

Magirk said...

Ugh. :-( I hate the vomit times.

I hope she gets feeling better soon, too!

I'm the same way about vomit - it frazzles my nerves more than just about anything. And I also hate the way it happens in the middle of the night without warning. For some reason, vomiting freaks me out.

Hugs all around for you!

AS Amber said...

Ya why DOES it happen in the middle of the night??? Good question!

My son will stand in my doorway and tell me he's going to puke and then do exactly that. In my doorway. DUDE!!! Don't stand there telling me you're gonna puke! Get to the bathroom and PUKE!

My daughter (two years younger!!) will get up, puke, get a little on the carpet on her way to the bathroom, clean it up and tell me about it in the morning.

And I've actually just thrown away sheets before because I just can't stand to smell slash see the puke.

And while we're on the subject (you hit a nerve, can you tell?) why is it that my (ex)husband will wake up at the sound of a pin drop but have the kids barfing in the middle of the night and he's in a full-on coma?!?!

OK, I'll stop. Thans for coming to see me!