Monday, August 11, 2008

Mormon Swear Words

So what are your favorite "clean" swear words? Or, do you not swear at all, clean or otherwise? Or maybe you curse like a belligerent truck driver? Where do you fall along the cursing spectrum?

As for me, I am a fluent (and frequent) clean-curser. Very rarely does an occasion arise when I feel compelled to use an authentic curse word. I don't ever think, "Oh I'll use this curse word for this occasion", they just seem to spill out randomly, but I definitely control it to a certain extent.

My own personal favorite and a Lesley original is "Oh, farts and darts!". I don't use it often, but it's great for releasing frustration, and it usually makes me and whomever is with me laugh afterwards.

I use the old stand-by's quite often: "ding-dang it", and the ever-popular "gosh" "darn" and "heck". However, I prefer "flip" and all it's variations (flipper, flippin' flip-head, what the flip, etc) to "fudge" "freak" or "fishsticks".

My mom would often use, "For Cripe's Sake" and "Criminy", and she was fairly liberal with the "D" word. Usually she would check herself halfway through and say "Dammy Sammy!" instead, a phrase I too find quite satisfying when things are going haywire.

Once in a while she would use a real swear word, usually the one referring to excrement, and when we heard it we knew she was genuinely P-O'd, but usually when she said it, it meant that something had gone terribly wrong in the kitchen. One time in particular I heard her use it, and found that she had splashed boiling hot water on her hand while making Jell-O. You can imagine how badly that hurt and I personally think it called for a string of curse words, but she obviously held back.

My dad uses the Lord's name in vain quite often, along with nearly all the old standards, but he feels that a man should never use the F-word in front of a woman. It really offends him if it happens even though he may use this word himself when he's around his guy friends.

I guess my most questionable phrases may be "Holy crap", "Holy flip", and "God Bless America". I'm also known for telling the kids that they are in "deep dog doo".

How do you feel about swearing? Is using "Flip", "Cripes" or "Dang" just as bad as what it is replacing? Inquiring minds want to know. Leave me a comment about your clean swear words, or lack there of.


Sue said...

I love freaking. My mom hates it when I say that, I think that's part of why I love it.

I use holy crap constantly, and I'm afraid I also have been known to let an honest to goodness DAM*IT fly. But mostly only when I'm trying to be funny. Because sometimes swearing is funny.

I'm probably going to hell. (OY, I said hell. Sorry about that.)

Moody said...


Well you not only said hell, you wrote it out for all to're doomed! Dang it! Now I did too!

Just wondering where everyone else stands on this, and if anyone else has made up ones that are funny. Is saying 'holy' during a swear session blasphemous? I don't know.

But I agree that it's funny.

Holly said...

My husband is English. Hell and Damn aren't "bad" words over there. My dh and I actually say those words fairly frequently. I am working on it though, because Dam*it, doesn't sound very nice when it comes from a 7 year old. ;)

Like Sue, we use "Holy Crap!" a lot. I also have a problem with using jack*ss when I drive. Not that I think it's a "swear" word anyway, it just doesn't sound nice to call someone that!

We don't use the "F" word or truly vulgar words at our house and we honestly do try and not swear even with "Mormon" swear words. I have, on occasion, been known to utter the "S" word, usually when pain is involved.

My boys like using the phrases, "Hoover Dam" and "Shitake Mushroom" from the penguins in the film, Madagascar. I do too, for that matter. It's kind of our family joke.

I'm probably going to Hell too...

Anonymous said...

My favorites are "holy moly" and "geeze louise." I definitely use the "S" word, and if warranted (at least in my mind), the "F" word even slips out once in awhile. I am married to a construction worker so I feel I have a little bit of an excuse (lol!). I feel "clean cussing" sounds better but mostly it's just a matter of context. If you're saying something mean and hurtful, even using "nice" words, it's not a good thing. ~Big Sis

Lisa said...

I would love to tell the clever and funny clean swear words I use (and I'm sure there are some) but I mostly came on here to get ideas from y'all. Swearing is one of my big weaknesses right now. Only when I'm really frustrated, but that's far too often. It's seriously one of the main things that tell me how well I'm doing on my basic scripture study/personal prayer. The less I do of those, the more swearing that is heard in my house. :(

And I don't mean to say I swear like a truck driver, but the ugly kind slip out once a week, give or take (or sometimes daily when I'm sleep deprived etc.) Interesting Post topic! Great blog!

Magirk said...

I'll admit that thanks in large part to a troubled youth, I have issues with swear words. Every now and then, the real deal pops out, and I kick myself. I hate it!

And so, most of my 'fakies' revolve around my actually starting to say the actual swear word, and then trying to stretch it out until I can really quickly think of a way to correct myself mid-word and say something else!

Like, sh---eeesh! Or he-----ckalot. Or da-----gdabit.

Yeah, I'm working on it, I swear! (pun intended)

Other than that, my most frequent words are 'freakin' 'good gravy' and 'crimanently.'

Rose said...

This was an interesting post and comments! As a rule, I don't swear but I have on occasion said the sh** word. I'm not proud of that, but as they say, it happens! I usually say, "For Pete's sake" or "Goodness Gracious!" Those are pretty harmless. I might say 'flipping' if I'm really mad but never the other word and NEVER take the Lord's name in vain. I recently realized that our family says the word, 'sucks' alot, as in "that sucks" (not me but the kids) which isn't really all that pretty when you think about it. We are working on cleaning that one up!

Anonymous said...
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Kenneth Little said...

My wife says the F word and damn.I use Gd when she is not within hearing range.I perfer GD over the F word.

Anonymous said...

I just came away from an evening listening to my grandson say Jesus Christ and God! every other word. I had the idea to make a clean cuss word site many years ago but never got around to it. After last night, I had to come searching again. I plan on making a small poster with alternatives to my grandson's limited and irritating exclamations!

Adam said...

I never use the lord's name in vain or say jesu* chris*, but i say what the he** semi-frequently and the occassional dam*, shi*, and as*. are these words too bad to say? rank them in order from worst to least bad.

Mini Hook said...

Fiddlesticks, shut the front door, or mumble like Harry in Home Alone.. :)

Anonymous said...

My all time favorite is "Son of a biscuit." I use it all the time. I also use bleach or glitch instead of the B-word. I like using things like Gosh-Dangit to Heck, they have a kind of Southern appeal to them. I use arse instead of the A-word. It's essentially the same thing, but it doesn't offend people-actually they seem to find it amusing, especially when I use it when the original was part of a bigger word (IE Jackarse, badarse, etc.) I'll occasionally use Shitake Mushrooms or Hoover Dam.
And of course, the old standby-flip, which tends to come out in a repetitive stream when I stub my toe. "FLIPPITY FLIPPIN FLIPPITY FLIP-FLIP FETCHIN FLIP!"

If I'm in the mood, I'll occasionally use actual swear words, usually in the form of "Ah, hell." I absolutely never use the hardcore words though.

I love Mormon swear words. I feel like normal swearing takes all the fun and personality out of language.

Kristin said...

I say flip and freak a lot. But it's fun to come up with completely new and original ones. I've had ones like boogers, poop (not my prettiest I must admit) and my favorite Chewbacca. I've been using poop for too long now and I'm trying to think of a new one. Before I go to college. I thought of cuss at first as a swear but my sister in law says since it has the same sound has the fbomb that its not acceptable. i dont know about that but i'm with her all the time and she's kind of uptight about that stuff. and is not afriad to tell me off. any suggestions of a new swear?

Anonymous said...

Fart Bag! yes I said Fart Bag, I learned it from my 5 year old.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget Jiminy Cricket!

When I was a little girl we use to sneak of to visit the neighbors donkey, and have conversations that included the word "ass" multiple times, because we felt in front of a donkey saying "ass" was perfectly acceptable. Because he was an Ass!

Anonymous said...

I overuse "crumbs" a lot. I say "Aw crumbs!" And "Holy crumbs!" :P It's become a bit of a joke with my friends at the university...they think it's cute and laugh at me quite a bit.

Anonymous said...

Jimminy snicker or crippit is what I say

Anonymous said...

I came on here to see how other people swear. My dad dad swears a lot and it really bothers me. I always feel like swearing when he does. But the common word I say are crap, and the "s" word occasionally in my mind. And I always want to say other words but I always hold it back. It is really hard not to swear. You guys had some really good ones.

Anonymous said...

I often exclaim "Oh, farts!" when frustrated. :-)