Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Ranting Ahead...Proceed at Your Own Risk!

What a week so far! Honestly, when it rains it pours, but some promising things happened too.

Yesterday one of the daycare boys slapped Nat on the tummy and left his hand print. I didn't see the altercation, so I'm sure Nat was annoying him to some extent. HOWEVER, when I hear, "Well, she was doing..." before I hear, "Gee, I'm sorry..." I get very frustrated. I see this a lot, where kids will always see themselves as the victim, and not take responsibility for their own actions. There's always some excuse for their bad behavior. I see it so often that it makes me afraid for this up and coming generation. How will they deal in the real world?

When Mike got home I was in the front yard cooling my self down, as it was just a trying day all around. I had a kid that was back-sassing me, the incident with Nat I had just dealt with, and one of my 3 year olds had a potty accident, so I was at the end of my rope. When he saw the welt on Nat's tummy, he went to talk to the young boy himself. He said in essence, "You don't hit girls, and you especially don't hit MY little girl." I was glad that Mike had a talk with him. I really think that's one thing that's lacking in a lot of kids' lives (the boys I see especially)---a strong male influence.

Our tax lady gave us bad news last night about how much we owe. This was going to be one of the first years in a long time we were going to be able to file on time, but now that we've heard how much we owe, we will have to file an extension instead. And we won't get the President's incentive either--it will just go towards paying our debt. It really doesn't pay to be self-employed. Bah!

I got a call today from a local Lodge saying they will hire me for the summer running the snack bar and waitressing, so some of my stress about supporting myself once daycare is closed has been alleviated. I've never waitressed in my life, so it will be a new experience for me. I do know enough to know that I will work my fanny off!

I will be pursuing finding a "real job" with benefits during the summer and hope that this fall I will have a more promising employment.

Mike and I had a big argument this morning. I feel bad that I can't find enthusiasm for his endeavors, but we are in a real financial bind right now, and if I don't see something actually happening, I can't get excited about it. In other words, he was telling me that he wants me to support his goal of going big with his barbecue business, and how it will solve all our problems, but I just feel we need to do something concrete now, rather than just talk about something that may happen. I'm feeling pretty low that I can't have faith in his dream. I think there's a good possibility it could happen in the long run, but I want to fix our present situation first.

This is also the week of the anniversary of my mom's death. I try not to relive those last days, and after 6 years, I thought I was getting past it, but I'm still finding myself thinking about each day leading up to the day she passed away. I always try to do something special to remember her on that solemn anniversary. I would rather remember, than to try to ignore it. I actually think the weeks leading up to her death were the worst, and the day that she died I felt a sense of relief and happiness that she was no longer being tortured to death by cancer. So I think part of my problem this week is that I'm also feeling highly emotional.

I'm still hopeful that this week will redeem itself. After all, it's only Tuesday... I guess it will either improve or be The. Longest. Week. Ever!


Ally said...

Oh man. :( I wish I could come down there and give you a hug.

What a week! (so far) I'm so sorry you're having a nasty time, especially right now at the reminder of your mother's passing.

I'm sending you all my best wishes and hopes that things will improve, that you'll be able to find the employment you need, and that your heart and mind will be blessed with peace in your remembrance of your mother.

I'm sure you'll be an awesome waitress! (not like me - I think I would totally suck at that!)


Holly (2 Kids and Tired) said...

I wish I could give you a big hug too! Those anniversaries are hard. It's been 6 years since I lost my dad and his birthday in May and the anniversary of his death in October are still hard.

Karen Schmautz said...

Yi! Must be some bad karma in the air, or something. I didn't get my dad's tax stuff from the tax lady until today at 11:30 and then she had to resend it 3 times because she kept getting it wrong. I was stressed to the max about the whole thing.

OTH, My mom's been gone 10 years now and I think of her every Dec. 18 (her birthday) and Mar 19 (the day of her death.) It gets easier but I still miss her.

Still...bad day for you. Hope things go better for you tomorrow.